L/Cpl Stephen McKee buried with full military honours
RIR Lance Corporal Stephen McKee, 27, was buried from Seapatrick Church, Banbridge, on Saturday 26 March 2011.
Stephen, whose parents are parishioners of Seapatrick Parish, was taking part in an operation in Helmand province when his vehicle struck a roadside bomb.
The following is a transcript of the address given by the rector, Archdeacon John Scott:
My text today is from the opening words of St Paul's New Testament letters: 'I thank my God for every remembrance I have of you.’ Today, like any funeral service, is a strange mixture of sorrow and loss, but also of thanksgiving and hope. Today, as in every situation in life, it will remind you that the more we bring there is so much more to take away. We may gain more knowledge of music from a concert or more knowledge of sport through knowing the rules of the game. Real knowledge is not ‘head’ but ‘heart’ knowledge, which underscores the awareness of the fragrant yet fragile, precious yet precarious, thing life is - and its core ingredient is relationships.
Many of you will come here today bringing your own personal, valuable memories of Stephen – Stevie, or ‘Wee Walter’, as some would have it. As a grandson, son, husband and father; as a brother or uncle, and so on within the family. Or, as a school mate growing up in Banbridge, as a friend in one of his many interests – rugby or football at Seapatrick or Banbridge Rangers. Or as a colleague – such as through LOL 210 Warrenpoint or through drumming with Downshire Guiding Star etc; and, of course, his colleagues in his army career.
My personal memories of Stephen focus on his drumming. He was only a wee boy of six or seven when I came to Banbridge and I remember him and his brothers at Sunday School in the village church. But my special, unique memory was the Confirmation weekend in Kilbroney, Rostrevor in September 1997: 1 of 22 candidates (11 boys, 11 girls), 2-3 boys with rubber pads always practising drumming which they incorporated into the Sunday act of worship which they compiled as part of the weekend. Stephen liked drumming so much it is said that the teacher in school had to take away his pencils.
Each one of you ‘bring your own memories’ – that is my ‘special one’ and the way even at 11 or 12 he stood out and reflected the leadership skills that he later put into use in his army career.
Someone has said, ‘Choose a job you like and you’ll never have to work a day in your life’. I think most would agree that was true for Stephen. He loved his army life and as we have already heard was good at it, but sadly it has led to this day. The question is often asked, ‘Why does a loving God allow people to suffer or die so young?’ It is a question that is not easily answered and indeed if one turns to the Bible in such times it is not because it provides clear answers or contains mysterious solutions to life’s problems, but because it outlines certain fundamental facts and understandings which don’t make things better but does make them understandable.
Despite thousands of years, when it comes to life, things don’t really change very much. From the beginning of time, tragedy, sickness, unexpected death, good times, bad times is the order of the day. But throughout it all one basic assurance is that ‘God is with us in it’. The Bible is not about solutions, rather a book of stories – life stories of how people met and coped or failed to cope with life’s encounters. Some good and some bad, some well dealt with and some badly dealt with. People sold into slavery, such as Joseph. People who suffered, such as Job. People who were tortured, like Samson. But God is a creator God. He created us for a purpose and that purpose is to come to an understanding that life is a journey. A journey we make only once and a journey with a pre-determined destination, Heaven or God’s Eternal Presence.
Now God in Jesus – God in human form – taught us that the true way of life is the way of relationship and the way of love. So, today, as we lay Stephen to rest, let us focus on the positives – the times of relationship, of loving encounter of caring and support. Already in his short life of only 27 years Stephen has faced many testing situations both professionally and personally, not least the tragic death of his baby daughter Keeley, after only two days of life, just a year ago almost to the day.
Throughout these testings he has shown himself to be someone not only of physical strength but and perhaps more importantly of spiritual strength. Life often throws us into situations or circumstances of unpredictability, tense trying situations where we are frightened, alone or insecure. We all prefer life to be settled, secure, predictable and fair.
Living in a perfectly fair world appeals; but deeper reflection makes us realise that in such a world everything would be neutral and sterile. We would never experience tragedy: ‘Good’, you might say, but neither would we experience ‘Grace’. The problem of expecting to live in a perfectly fair world is that there is no grace in that world; for grace is only grace when it is undeserved, and of course the ultimate grace is the Grace offered us all by our Lord Jesus Christ through the Cross.
But what you might ask - is grace from a human perspective? Grace comes to us in the dynamics of any situation we walk into. It is an opportunity that God sews into the fabric of any routine situation. It is the chance to do something creative/ something helpful or something healing. Something that makes one unmarked spot in the world, better off for our having been there, we catch it if we are a people of discernment.
It is my hope today that everyone leaves this service not only mourning the loss of a young man of 27 but also with the assurance of the message of Grace – one for themselves. Also, that his sacrifice was not in vain and meaningless, but that his sacrifice and the sacrifice of his colleagues does and will make a difference in this messy world. The seeds of hope and freedom and grace that they plant by their selfless giving of themselves will indeed one day bring the harvest of love and peace that everyone dreams of – not only for Afghanistan but the world over.
When St Paul’s Cathedral was being built, its architect, Sir Christopher Wren, was in the habit of making frequent visits to the site, and wandering around from craftsman to craftsman watching and noting each phase of the construction. Sometimes he would pause and ask a worker what he was about: ‘I’m carving a keystone for that arch’, a mason would reply; ‘I’m constructing a door for the west entrance’, a carpenter would answer, or ‘I’m forging the metalwork for the screen’, a blacksmith would say. One day the architect spotted a small boy standing alongside a pail of water and a pile of hay. It was the boy’s job to water and feed the horses which pulled the wagon loads of building materials up Ludgate Hill. Sir Christopher approached the boy and put the same question to him. The boy looked up, and not recognising the man standing before him replied with childlike innocence, ‘I’m helping Sir Christopher Wren to build a cathedral’.
To have a vision of helping to build a cathedral is impressive, but to have a vision of helping to make the world a better place for others must surely be an equally awesome goal to say the least. But having a vision is not enough unless it is backed up by conviction and commitment. Likewise our faith – our Christianity isn’t a vague benevolent way of life or pious sentimental words about Jesus Christ, but cutting-edge reality, a living powerful dynamic force which brings about change and gets things done in life. Ours is a God who helps people, heals people, and hallows people. A God who is first and foremost relevant to every situation of life in which we might find ourselves and challenges us to action by helping others.
Stephen McKee rose to that challenge and sadly has paid the supreme sacrifice in forfeiting his life. Today, we honour his memory and that of his colleagues – but more practically, in love we remember those he loved and those who will miss him most, wife, parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters. We assure them of our prayers and practical support and remind them of hope in the tender mercies of a loving God.
A little verse I often quote goes like this:
‘Rest Assured’
Mourn not for the one departed though your loss be hard to bear. The one you love is still alive and still within the Father’s care ... Though they pass out of our sight along the road that all must tread – they are nearer than we think for are but a step ahead. God is good and through His mercy we are saved, redeemed, set free – to enjoy the life beyond the gateways of Eternity ... Love will have its resurrection, where and when we cannot tell – but trust in the unfailing Word and rest assured that all is well.
Stephen and Keeley have gone on ahead. May we all, especially those who cherished him most, live in the faith of meeting again and honour his memory in the service of others as he did.
Amen